Having recently rediscovered tumblr, I am thoroughly pleased with past-me’s following of the amount of porn and food blogs. Nothing like moneyshots next to a fucking In-N-Out burger in the afternoon. Nothing.
I said it. Sue me.
To all feminist, man-haters and that general clan of people:
I agree with you. Women go through some fucked up shit. It sucks. It really fucking does. As someone who is not a homogenized beneficiary of privilege (I’m obviously black), I can somewhat understand what it is like to be marginalized and treated horribly in small situations every day. They can build up and eventually you’re gonna freak out because you can’t take anymore of the constant stream of bullshit you face every day. I got you on that. But we gotta talk about some other things.
Look. When the Civil Rights Act was signed, it wasn’t signed by a black man or woman. Fuck yeah, blacks fought for it. They marched and protested. You know what blacks didn’t do? Make it about pointing the finger at whites. They didn’t make it an issue about how white people were treating them horribly. Or they did, but they didn’t do it in such a way that white people would get defensive. Or rather, some didn’t. If you look at it more on the side of the peaceful black protesters, it wasn’t about “OH, OL’ WHITIE IS PISSIN ME OFF!” It was about: “Damn, you guys have some nice stuff. Can I also have some of that stuff?”
It didn’t turn whites away. It embraced whites who wanted to work with them. You have to understand. You are the minority group here (although you’re not a minority and actually make up half of the fucking world). And you cannot get the shit you want to get done done without the help of men. Just like whites signed the bill, men are going to have be the ones to push over the patriarchy. Because we made it. Just like whites pushed over Jim Crow. Because they made it.
I want you to seriously think about this. How are you going to get shit down for you when you alienate HALF OF THE FUCKING WORLD’S POPULATION in fighting for your issue? It doesn’t make sense. I want to fight for feminism, but sometimes feminists make it hard. Especially as a man. It’s hard not to be defensive when people are accusing you of things. Don’t lie and say you wouldn’t be defensive if the tables were turned. Just don’t do that. It’s doesn’t help anything.
Whatever, I’m ranting now, but I think the point is made. And it’s not about me trying to make men important or whatever. We already are just like women are. And THAT’S what the point is here. We are equal. We know that. If we want to fight for equality, we have to treat the people on our side of the war like equals. Not say they have no say in the conversation or reject their help. Yeah, men have a lot to learn. But let’s not pretend women don’t either.
We all have a shit ton more listening to do.
(One more thing. This is not just a societal issue, unlike racism or classism etc.. The issue of men’s/women’s rights is also rooted, and I would argue more rooted, in biology, psychology and neuroscience. Some of the things we want in our equal society is simply not going to happen by virtue of the biological factors. Never forget that, or downplay that because it’s the one factor that simply will always be present.)